Stress Archives - Life Changes Elder Care

5 COMMON CAUSES OF BRAIN FOG

May 9, 2020/0 Comments/in Aging in Community, Alzheimer's, Assisted Living, Caregiver, Dementia, Depression, Elder Care Management, Family Caregiving, Grief & Loss, Health, Long Term Care, Long Term Care Insurance, Memory, Nutrician, Safety, Senior care management, Senior LIving, Stress, Uncategorized /by LifeChangesAdmin

You need to stop by the grocery on the way home from work for two gotta-have items. One of the items is coffee, but you can’t think of the other one to save your life.

Every time you sit down to do that report for work, you can’t seem to focus and make any real progress.

Better wait to walk to the end of the driveway to get the mail because your neighbor, that you’ve only lived beside for five years, is in his yard, and you don’t remember his name. You know you know it, but your brain can’t seem to reach it.

Sound familiar?
Even though you may feel like you’re losing your mind, it could just be a bit of brain fog. Thankfully, you can take steps to clear up the haze after you figure out what’s causing it.

What Is Brain Fog?
Brain fog is not a medically recognized term or diagnosable condition. It’s a common phrase used for a myriad of symptoms affecting your ability to think. Brain fog can include things like memory problems, lack of mental clarity, and an inability to focus, and put thoughts into words. Some people describe it as mental fatigue.

You know – the kind of mental exhaustion where you tell yourself if you can just make it to the weekend, you’ll get some rest. That should help. Next week will be easier. The problem is that when the weekend rolls around, there are a gazillion more things to do and stress about. So, you end up not getting the much-needed rest. Or if you do, it doesn’t seem to help the problem in the slightest.

That’s because to resolve brain fog, you have to figure out and address what’s causing it.

On a cellular level, brain fog is believed to be associated with high levels inflammation and changes to three primary hormones: dopamine, serotonin, and cortisol. One theory behind the underlying reason for brain fog symptoms is that higher levels of inflammatory molecules, including adipocytokines and histamines, stimulate microglia activation.

Five Common Causes of Brain Fog
According to one study, the most commonly reported brain fog triggers were fatigue, lack of sleep, prolonged periods of standing, dehydration and feeling faint. Sometimes, a trigger can’t be avoided. However, if brain fog is an ongoing issue for you, taking a look at and adjusting your lifestyle habits might be warranted. Let’s look at some common causes:

1. Stress
In the short-term, stress can make you irritable, anxious, distracted and forgetful. Over time, elevated levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, can chip away at your physical, mental and emotional health. Chronic stress actually damages your brain. Stress shrinks dendrites, kills neurons, and prevents new cell growth in the hippocampus – essential to memory. While it’s doing all that, it causes your amygdala, the fear and emotional center of the brain, to increase size and activity. This makes it harder for your brain to learn new information and remember it.

2. Lack of sleep
Sleep deprivation can have serious short-term and long-term consequences for your overall and brain health. After just one night of skimping on sleep, the results can be seen in delayed reaction times, glucose levels, mood, headache, impaired memory, and hormone balances. Recent research shows that not getting enough sleep may even shrink your brain. You’ll want to aim for eight to nine hours of sleep per night. But don’t forget, quality matters too.

3. Diet
Diet can also play a role in brain fog. When it comes to your brain, you literally are what you eat. What goes into your mouth has everything to do with what goes on in your head. You have a “second brain,” the enteric nervous system, in your gut which communicates with the brain in your head.

To get the most brainpower out of your diet, you will want to include fatty fishes, foods with probiotics, whole grains, leafy greens and lots of lean protein. If you’re missing essential vitamins and minerals, your brain function will reflect it. For example, a vitamin B-12 deficiency can bring about brain fog.

Also, food allergies and sensitivities can make your thinking fuzzy. The most common culprits are:

Processed meat (sodium nitrates)
Dairy
MSG
Alcohol
Artificial sweeteners

Dehydration can also contribute to sluggish thinking.

4. Hormonal Changes
Hormonal changes can also trigger brain fog. The brain and entire body rely on a complex symphony of hormones that work to keep one another in check. So, when levels of one hormone fall too low or climb too high, your whole system, including brain function, can be thrown off.

For example, levels of the hormones progesterone and estrogen increase drastically during pregnancy. This change can affect memory and cause short-term cognitive impairment. Similarly, a drop in estrogen level during menopause can cause forgetfulness, poor concentration, and cloudy thinking.

5. Medications and Medical Conditions
Brain fog is a common side effect of many drugs. If you notice symptoms upon taking a medication, talk with your doctor. Lowering your dosage or switching to another drug may alleviate the problem. Brain fog is a well-known side effect of chemo and is referred to as chemo brain.

Medical conditions associated with inflammation, fatigue, or changes in blood glucose level can also be the cause of mental fatigue. For example, brain fog is a symptom of:

chronic fatigue syndrome
fibromyalgia
anemia
depression
diabetes
hypothyroidism
autoimmune diseases such as lupus, arthritis, and multiple sclerosis

Diagnosis and Treatment of Brain Fog
No matter what you think is causing your brain fog, it’d be a good idea to get checked out by your doctor. However, there isn’t one test specifically for the condition. When you get to your doctor’s appointment, you can expect to have a regular physical examination with some follow-up questions.

Your doctor may feel additional blood work is necessary to rule out the brain fog being a symptom of a more serious issue. Blood work can identify the basic health markers, glucose levels, nutritional deficiencies, organ function, hydration, and more.

Your doctor can then suggest possible solutions to implement based on the exam, questions, and tests. Treatments are different depending on the determined cause. Your physician may advise you to get more sleep, switch medications, start taking nutritional supplements, or something else. You may need to try out different treatments before you find one that works for you.

Conclusion
Brain fog is an annoying symptom that can arise for a wide variety of reasons. It may feel like you’re going to be stuck in that sleepy mindset forever, but there are plenty of ways to wake your brain up. Try out different treatments until you find one that works. Then, make adjustments as necessary to prevent the condition from returning. One day, you’ll clear away the fog, and the sun will shine again!

Contributing Author: Kayla Matthews writes about wellness, productivity and stress in the modern world for websites like Make Use Of, BioMed Central, and The Huffington Post. To read more posts from Kayla, subscribe to her blog, Productivity Theory.

Source: The Best Brain Possible with Debbie Hampton, Author | Writer | Online Marketer, at: CLICK HERE.

Debbie Hampton recovered from a suicide attempt and resulting brain injury to become an inspirational and educational writer. She is the author of Beat Depression And Anxiety By Changing Your Brain and a memoir, Sex, Suicide, and Serotonin, being re-released next month. Debbie writes for The Huffington Post, MindBodyGreen, and more. On her website, The Best Brain Possible, she shares information and inspiration on how to better your brain and life.

Getting the Care You Need via Telemedicine

April 23, 2020/in Aging in Community, Alzheimer's, Caregiver, Dementia, Elder Care Management, Family Caregiving, Health, Medicaid, Medicare, Medication, Senior care management, Senior LIving, Stress, Technology /by LifeChangesAdmin

Getting the Care You Need via Telemedicine Keeping on top of your healthcare needs is now more important than ever, but due to the COVID-19 virus, you may be asked by your healthcare system or local physician’s office to avoid in-person visits. Avoiding in-person visits helps control the spread of the disease and ensures that the most critically ill receive frontline care. But just because you may not be able to see your healthcare provider in person does not mean that you should not seek out medical care.

Telemedicine is a new reality for all of us. To make it easier to connect with your healthcare team, the federal government has temporarily expanded telemedicine services for Medicare beneficiaries to cover virtual visits. Virtual visits currently include various modes of interaction with your healthcare team including video chats, phone calls, and e-mail.

We’ve put together four key tips to help make your telemedicine visit as beneficial as possible:

1. Prepare for the Visit

Write down a list of your symptoms and concerns; be specific.
Practice what you want to say. That way, you won’t leave anything out.
Write down a list of all medications (prescription and non-prescription).
Check your technology. (If you do not have a computer, tablet, or smart phone, ask a family member for help.)

2. Find a Quiet Space

Turn off background noise such as TVs, radios, and smart speakers.
Ask others in your home to keep the noise level down.
Allow yourself 10-15 minutes before the video/phone call to collect your thoughts.
For privacy, consider using headphones during the call.

3. Tell Your Doctor Everything

Summarize your condition, list all symptoms, and explain your concerns.
Share any changes in your medical history and any major life changes.
Provide any vital signs that you can such as blood pressure, pulse, and temperature.

4. Agree on a Treatment Plan

After your doctor tells you something, repeat it back in your own words.
Take notes and ask questions such as: What are the risks/benefits of treatment? Are there other ways to treat this? Will insurance pay? Will I need medication?
Agree on the treatment plan and any additional tests/medications.
Ask your doctor for resources and about follow-up visits.

As with any physician visit, it’s ideal if you can have a friend or family member by your side. That person can be responsible for taking notes so that you can focus fully on your conversation with your doctor.

Important: As of March 30, the federal government is including e-visits (an e-mail exchange via a secure online patient portal) and telephone calls as part of telemedicine. Read more from CMS.

Source: National Coundil on Aging

Comprehensive Room-by-Room Home Safety Guide for Older Adults

February 27, 2020/in Aging in Community, Alzheimer's, Assisted Living, Caregiver, Dementia, Elder Care Management, Family Caregiving, Memory, Nutrician, Safety, Senior care management, Senior LIving, Stress /by LifeChangesAdmin

Living room
Bedroom
Bathroom
Kitchen
Outside/garden

If you are like many Americans in your generation, you would prefer to live independently in your own residence rather than in an assisted care facility. A growing number of older adults are choosing to age in place, and many adult children are moving aging parents into their home. If you’re considering in-home care as an option, you may need to make some modifications to you or your loved one’s home to make it as safe as possible.

The AARP reports 1 in 4 adults over age 65 take a fall annually, but you can lessen the chances of a fall with some simple adaptations. Many of them can be done in a single day. If you’re an older adult living independently or you are caring for an aging loved one, here are some safety tips to make the home as safe as possible.

Living room

The living room is a great place for the elderly to entertain family and friends. It’s also a great place for them to finally enjoy the rest and relaxation they’ve been working towards their whole lives. But, it can also be a place full of little hazards for an older adult. Read through our tips below to see how you can help make sure your loved one’s living room is properly equipped for them to enjoy in their golden years.

Couches and chairs

Seating should be the appropriate height for older adults. That means that their feet should be able to touch the floor when sitting on the edge and that their hips don’t start too far below their knees, as this can make getting up difficult.

Adjust the legs of the chairs and couches to get the proper height or add cushions to help elevate the seat surfaces.
All couches and chairs should be stable and not sway or wobble.
Make sure that seating is not too low, too soft, or too deep. If you have to rock back and forth to gain momentum to get into a standing position, the chair or couch doesn’t offer enough support. This can present a hazard in terms of hip fractures.
Use seating with high arms for assistance in pulling yourself to a standing position.
Lightweight furniture is easier to maneuver, which is especially important for dining or activity chairs that need to be moved away from a table in order to sit down.
The front of the arm should be flat and able to be grasped easily when sitting or standing. An older person needs to be able to steady themselves as they stand in order to prevent a fall.

Lighting

As we age, weakening eye muscles and a decreased pupil size mean we need more light to see as well as we did before. Lighting in the living room should be bright without being harsh. This will keep visibility high while you or your loved one goes about their daily activities.

Install lighting with remotes for older adults who have mobility issuesso they don’t have to reach light switches.
If visibility is low in the living room, add track lighting where necessary. This can help increase the illumination in the room to the levels needed for persons over age 65.
Different areas of the home require different types of lighting. Hallways, closets, and stairwells should have bright lights. Inadequate lighting in these areas could be associated with a fall.
Extra lamps, especially models that turn on and off with a touch, make it more convenient to make the room brighter as evening falls. They increase ambient light levels or better visibility throughout the room and are easily portable.
Light quality is as important as increased light levels. Good lighting should decrease shadows, reflections, and glare. Older adults are more sensitive to glare, so while lighting should be plentiful it should also be shielded.
Repaint walls a lighter color. A matte finish will reduce glare, and paint with a higher Light Reflective Value will increase ambient light levels in the room. Your eyesight may require two to six times more light than it did when you were younger.

Windows and temperature

Windows should be well insulated to keep heat out in the summer and keep heat in the winter. Extreme temperatures can make anyone sick, but older adults lose body heat faster than when we are young. Being in a very cold house can lead to hypothermia, and a chill can become dangerous before you are even aware of what is happening.

Check that all window seals are tight and not letting any air escape. This ensures you aren’t losing heat through the windows, which could put you at risk for hypothermia.
Use heat-control window film or install double-pane windows that are better insulated. This can prevent the house from becoming too cold, and your body temperature from falling below 95 degrees, the point where health problems may occur.
Add curtains and shades to any large windows to help control lighting and temperature in the living room.
For safety, keep your windows locked at all times. This can help protect older people from abuse.
Set your heat to at least 68 to 70 degrees. Older people may be tempted to save on electric bills by turning down the heat, especially as inflation means retirement savings need to stretch further.
To save on heating bills, placed a rolled towel in front of doors to keep out drafts and close off rooms you aren’t using.
Avoid space heaters, which are fire hazards and can cause carbon monoxide poisoning. This is true for adults of any age, but carbon monoxide is a deadly gas you cannot see or smell, so it is especially important if you live alone.

Flooring and walkways

There are many great non-slip flooring options that are easily installed that can reduce the risk of a fall if your older adult has slick wood or tile flooring. If an older person falls, they have a decreased chance of a fast recovery. It’s important for an older adult to have flooring that is safe to walk on, and easy to maintain.

Keep all walkways free of obstruction and remove any clutter around the living room that could be a trip hazard.
Remove rugs that slip easily or curl up at the edges as this is also a major trip and fall hazard.
Add a hail railing for greater stability while walking.
Use carpet staples to secure the carpet, non-slip rug liners and double-sided rug tape to keep rugs in place. Carpet that is torn and lifted up in areas can cause a tripping hazard. Likewise, rugs that slide easily or curl up at the corners are also a major tripping hazard.
Replace rugs and carpet with soft wood or wood-like flooring. This can make getting around easier and safer.
Always wear proper fitting shoes with low heels.
Apply non-slip wax to hard floors. Linoleum floors offer some cushioning in case of a fall and are anti-microbial, which could benefit older adults with weak immune systems. Non-slip vinyl floors don’t require wax and provide added stability for those wearing rubber-soled shoes.
Avoid tile and natural stone. A surface as hard as tile or stone could lead to a broken pelvis or hip, which could be life-threatening.

Bedroom

A bedroom is a place of rest, peace and quiet, security and safety. But, given that it is often dark and used when an elderly person is tired and not in the sharpest mindset, it’s imperative that the bedroom is designed for comfort and ease-of-use. Here is a list of items and actions to help you ensure your elderly loved one’s bedroom is safe.

Closets and other storage

Items stacked high in closets, bulky furniture taking up too much space, and clothing cluttering the bedroom are all causes for concern. After many years of life, it’s natural to have accumulated belongings.

Sentimental items and piles of paperwork, such as tax returns and newspaper clippings, can make it hard to find the things we use every day. Clearing out large items makes for better walkways and easier access to necessary things like clothing. The first step to resolving a clutter issue is to simply get rid of things. Don’t try to tackle too much at one time. Three hours is a good time limit to give yourself. This allows you to refocus and feel positive when you return to the task.

Prepare three boxes labeled 1) keep, 2) toss, or 3) sell/donate. This makes the task of sorting easier, and allows you to stop at any point you begin to feel tired.
When you finish for the day, put away your keep items and put your toss items into the garbage.
Be realistic about your storage space. If you’ve downsized in your later years, the possessions that moved from your previous home may need to be downsized as well.
If the items have sentimental value, think about getting a storage unit to store them in. Items we love may define us as individuals or remind us of the loved ones we have lost. You should decide which items are most important and keep the items that you love.
Use small, lightweight storage containers and install shelving to help you or your loved one get organized.
Consult your attorney or accountant to see which financial papers you should keep, and which you can toss. In this age of digital files, keeping 30 years of paperwork isn’t necessary.

Lighting

Lighting in the bedroom is important for any time of day. Lighting throughout the house, but especially in the bedroom, should be easily accessible.

Lighting with remotes ensure you or your elderly loved one doesn’t have to get up and search for the switch in the dark.
Nightlights and low wattage string lighting can stay on at all times for those late night trips to the kitchen or bathroom.
Run string lighting along baseboards to light the floor to and from the bathroom or kitchen. These are paths we all frequent regularly, and often at night. String lighting will improve visibility for nighttime trips to the bathroom or to get a glass of water.
Check batteries and bulbs regularly to make sure everything is still working.
Check the wattage of your light fixtures before increasing the wattage. You never want to exceed the maximum wattage of a lamp or light fixture. If you need to increase ambient light for better visibility, add track lighting or another lamp.

Bed height and railings

Getting in and out of bed gets tougher as we age, but there are simple fixes in bed height that can make this process much easier. When sitting on the edge of the bed, your knees should be parallel or below your hips. Likewise, your feet should always be able to touch the floor when sitting on the edge of the bed.

Many bed frames allow for height adjustments, preventing difficulty getting out of bed. A frame that is the wrong height could cause you to use rocking momentum to rise, which can increase the risk of a hip fracture and/or fall.
Change the size of the box spring or mattress to get the best height.
Bed rails prevent falls in the middle of the night and offer extra support when getting in and out of bed.
Consider purchasing an adjustable bed rail with LED nightlights to make it easier for an older adult to get in and out of bed when it’s still dark and visibility is low.
Make sure that the bed rail can be operated correctly by whoever is using them, especially if the person is going to be at home alone.
Check the weight limit on the bed rail to make sure that it is appropriate for you or your loved one to use.

Bathroom

The bathroom is full of hard, slippery surfaces which makes it a common place for falls and injuries at any age, but especially for the elderly. Read through our tips below to see how you can secure a bathroom and prevent any mishaps for your elderly loved one.

Mats and shower controls

The shower might be the most dangerous place in the house for an older adult since it’s so easy to slip and fall, and a fall can be so dangerous given a shower’s hard surface. It may also be hard to be heard over the shower or to reach a phone to call for help. You may want to remove locks on bathroom doors so that if someone does need to assist, they are able to get inside without delay.

A rubber mat or non-stick decals should be among the first things installed in an older adult’s bathroom. They are cheap and easy to put in and make a huge difference in the traction at the bottom of a tub, preventing a fall.
A handheld showerhead on a sliding rail allows for individual adjustment, making it easier to shower while seated.
You’ll want to pair this with an ADA-compliant grab bar for safety, as a handheld showerhead is too flimsy to grab onto during a fall.
The thermostat for the shower water should be set no higher than 120 degrees Fahrenheit to prevent scalding. Age-related sensory loss, thinner skin, and decreased mobility could lead to burns if the water temperature is set too high.
Sink, tub, and shower anti-scalding devices recognize when the water is too hot and stop the flow. If an individual has compromised health or is undergoing chemotherapy, the increased bacterial growth from a lower water temperature may not be suitable. In these cases, an anti-scalding device can protect against burns. They are relatively inexpensive and easy to install. They are best used when a caregiver is present, since the water may need to be manually remixed to the proper temperature.
Hot and cold shower levers should be easily identifiable for the older adult using them, especially since visibility may be lower in the shower without visual aids such as glasses.

Grab bars and seating

If the towel racks in your elderly loved one’s bathroom are loose, that is a clear sign they’re using them for support. Towel racks are not designed to act as grab bars and can easily be pulled out of a wall, causing a fall. Instead, install grab bars in and around the shower, near the toilet and anywhere else they may need support.

There are a few seating options to consider for the bathrooms of an elderly loved one. Each option helps older adults who struggle with getting up and down from different heights. Adding a seat to the shower helps older adults who have a hard time standing for long periods of time. It also gives them a stable place to rest while showering.

A vertical bar should be installed at the tub edge. If you are having a hard time getting in and out of your tub, a grab bar can make it easier.
An angled bar should be installed on the long back wall of the tub.These bars give you something sturdy to grasp in case of a fall.
The best location for the bars depends on who will be using them, so discuss placement with your loved one before installing them.
Grab bars don’t have to make your home look institutional. “Designer grab bars” are both sturdy and stylish. Some even serve double duty as towel racks and toilet paper holders.
Shower transfer benches allow you to sit and slide into and out of the shower easily. This can help if you are having a harder time getting in and out of the shower due to decreased flexibility.
Raised toilet seats decrease the distance an older adult has to sit when using the toilet. Most raised toilet seats will fit directly onto the bowl, making installation easy.

Medication

Keeping an older adult’s medication organized and easily within reach is incredibly important. Install a medicine cabinet that can be reached easily and consider keeping medications in a daily pill organizer.

If the bathroom becomes cramped with medications, it may be best to move medications to the kitchen where it’s easy to remember to take them with meals.
Make and maintain a medicine list that includes all the medications you or your loved one takes (including OTCs or herbal supplements), the name of the healthcare provider who prescribed them, and how often and at what dosage you should take them.
Check expiration dates, and discard expired medications safely.
Keep all medications in the bottle or box they came in so instructions are close at hand.
Store medications safely out of reach of pets and visiting grandchildren.

Kitchen

The kitchen is a central place in any home and a room in which family members spend plenty of time. Be sure it’s well-equipped for your elderly loved one with the below tips.

Storage

A kitchen should be rearranged as needed to make daily use items accessible so that you have easy access to cookware and canned goods. This puts less strain on your back and knees. Having everything is at hand and conveniently located makes it easier to make healthy meals without extra work. It also prevents you from buying things you already own.

Be aware of any items that are too high or too heavy for an older adult to reach.
Move pots, pans and any other kitchenware to the lowest shelves possible.
Pull-down shelves are great for storing items in hard to reach areas.
Consider storing heavy items like mixers, cast iron skillets, dutch ovens, and food processors on the counter and not below waist level, as lifting heavy items from low surfaces can cause injury.
Spice racks and lazy susans are great space-saving options for decluttering spice and condiment cabinets.
Store cleaning products and hazardous items separately from food.

Old food

It’s common for an older adult’s appetite to dwindle. If the older adult in your life is experiencing a loss of appetite, exercise and staying hydrated can help boost hunger. While boosting their appetite should be the ultimate goal, a loss of appetite can lead to old food accumulating in pantries and the fridge. Ingesting expired food can make anyone sick, but adults over 65 are even more susceptible to food poisoning.

Double-check expiration dates on all canned and fresh food items.
Instead of relying on a sight or smell test before eating, always use a food thermometer to check the doneness of meat, poultry and egg dishes.
Label leftovers with a date and throw away items that are more than a day or two old. Don’t rely on your memory.
If you need glasses, be sure to wear them when handling food.
Making simple dishes allows you to save your energy for cleanup. Rather than spending time on extensive prep work such as chopping vegetables, buy pre-chopped frozen vegetables.
Refrigerate leftovers immediately and use a food thermometer when reheating, to ensure they’ve reached the proper temperature. Everyone should follow this rule, but chronic conditions such as arthritis or cardiovascular disease may weaken the immune system.
Set up a support system of friends and family to help with meals and cleanup. This can help keep your nutritional needs met and your kitchen sanitary when your energy is low.

Emergencies and fire safety

As we grow older, decreased mobility and hearing loss can make it hard to respond quickly to an emergency. Fires are a serious risk for older adults, but they can mostly be prevented by taking a few extra steps.

A list of emergency contact numbers should be placed on the front of the fridge, along with any other important contact information an older adult may need.
If your loved one has a smartphone, label any emergency contacts with the abbreviation ICE (in case of emergency). If someone finds your loved one they can check who best to contact first. This is a good tip for anyone at any age.
A working fire extinguisher should be placed in an easy-to-reach spot in case of emergency.
If you have multiple floors, you should keep a fire extinguisher on every floor.
Move flammable items like curtains and paper towels as far away from the range/stove as possible.
An automatic shut-off range means you never have to worry about your loved one leaving the oven or stovetop on again.
Install smoke and carbon monoxide alarms, and test them regularly.
Kick the smoking habit, or help your loved one to cut out cigarettes. Smoking is the top cause of fires for older adults.

Outside/garden

Spending time working in the garden and enjoying the outdoors is a great way for older adults to stay active. But, it’s no secret that yards and gardens require lots of upkeep and can pose a risk of falls and other injuries. Take a look at our tips below to help keep your older adult’s outdoor space safe.

Snow removal and other maintenance

Older adults should get help removing snow and ice from their sidewalks and driveways. The best option would be to hire a year-round yard maintenance crew that will mow the yard in the warmer months and shovel snow in the colder months.

Install snow melting mats along walkways to help keep the snow down if hiring a maintenance team is not an option.
Be on the lookout for slip-and-fall hazards such as leaves, fallen branches, the garden hose and especially ice. Make sure walkways are clear of bikes, lawn ornaments and grandchildren’s outdoor toys.
If your loved one still wishes to maintain their own yard, encourage them to always do yard work with a friend and make sure they work within their limits.
You should always stay hydrated and stay away from caffeine and nicotine while doing yard work, as these can stress an older person’s heart when working hard.
Be realistic about what you are able to do, and seek assistance for the remainder.
Take a few minutes to stretch and warm up your muscles before engaging your muscles. Try to switch up tasks every half-hour so you avoid repetitive-use injury.
As for any adult, you should always lift properly. Bend at the knees and not the back. Use a wheelbarrow or cart to transport anything heavy so that you avoid straining your back.
Wear gloves and protect your body with lightweight long-sleeve shirts and pants. Physical (zinc- or titanium-based) sunscreen and a wide-brimmed hat may help prevent melanoma and skin damage on thinner skin.

Motion detectors and fencing

For loved ones with Alzheimer’s disease or other conditions that make them prone to wandering, there are a few tips you can implement to help reduce their chances of getting lost. A GPS tracker can be a lifesaver, and those designed for older adults have functions that include emergency buttons and health metrics. They can give you peace of mind, knowing that you can locate a loved one should they become lost.

The most effective thing you can do is install a fence in the front and back yard.
Add obvious indicators around entrances like large flower pots and easily recognizable yard art to help remind them of where they are and where they need to go.
Modern GPS trackers are discrete, able to be worn as a necklace or watch or carried in the bottom of a bag.
Motion detector lights and solar lighting to illuminate walkways and entrances at night are a great option for anybody, but especially seniors.
Motion detector lights can also serve as a deterrent to intruders who may try to steal from or harm your older loved one.

Doorbell

Any home is improved by a good doorbell. There are a few doorbell options that can be helpful for older adults. Doorbell technology with louder sounds and more convenience mean the difference between missing or receiving an important visitor or package.

Install a particularly loud chiming doorbell to help alert an older adult with decreased hearing that someone is at their door.
Most doorbells have volume adjustments, so you may just need to adjust the one already in place to a louder setting.
Install a doorbell that flashes a strobe light inside. A flashing light that goes off when the doorbell rings can alert older adults hard of hearing that someone is at the door.
A doorbell with an intercom system lets you know who is ringing before you answer.
Smart video doorbells allow you to view and speak to your visitors without getting up and view a video clip when motion is detected.

With some small measures, you can adapt your or your loved one’s home to make it safer and easier to navigate. By making simple modifications such as adding grab rails, more light, and eliminating clutter, you or your loved one can live comfortably in the home for years to come. Once you’ve created a safe space at home, you’ll also want to consider vehicle safety, whether you are driving your loved one on errands or they are still driving themselves.

The best vehicles for older drivers are the ones that have above average visibility, a high number of safety features, and easy-to-use control panels. You’ll also want to make sure you have excellent coverage in car insurance, as should drivers of all ages.

Source: The Zebra

What Happens When a Senior Can No Longer Care for Their Pet?

August 7, 2019/in Aging in Community, Alzheimer's, Assisted Living, Caregiver, Dementia, Depression, Elder Care Management, Family Caregiving, Grief & Loss, Health, Long Term Care, Medicaid, Medicare, Medication, Memory, Safety, Senior care management, Senior LIving, Stress /by LifeChangesAdmin

Howard Cutler knows the joy animals can bring to people. His childhood memories are filled with stories of his family’s two beloved dogs and cats. After moving into a senior housing complex in Atlanta, Georgia, Cutler acted on his love of animals and adopted a Shih Tzu named Ollie from a fellow resident who could no longer care for the animal. For seven years, the pair was inseparable until Cutler’s Parkinson’s disease forced him to move to a different assisted care facility that didn’t allow pets.

“He was my friend and my companion, and giving him up was very difficult for me,” Cutler explains. As much as he wanted to keep little Ollie, Cutler knew he needed to rehome his beloved pet. He began looking among his neighbors in the senior complex to find a new owner. “Ollie was loved by everyone there, but I was worried that I wouldn’t find the right person.”

Cutler was fortunate to find the perfect fit in his friend and neighbor Nancy Markovich. “Howard was heartsick that he had to give up Ollie,” Markovich recalls. “So, I offered to adopt the dog and promised to take good care of him.”

Ollie’s veterinarian, Dr. Duffy Jones, says pets provide much-needed comfort and companionship to people of all ages, especially seniors. “The value that animals bring to people is amazing,” he says. “I’ve seen older pet owners who are struggling financially choose not feed themselves so they can feed their animals. Their pet is the reason they get up in the morning.”

But when aging pet owners find themselves unable to care for their animals, surrendering the pet is often the best course of action. “Most owners understand they’re sick and their pet needs more care than they’re able to provide,” Dr. Jones says. “They want to make a plan for their pets; It’s a real source of comfort.”

Senior Pet Owners Must Plan for the Unexpected

Dr. Jones encourages all pet owners to devise a succession plan for their animals as early as possible. Having a “plan b” in place before the pet owner becomes too ill, needs to move to a care facility or passes away will offer invaluable peace of mind for the owner and added security for their pet. He offers the following tips for creating a contingency plan for a loving animal:

Consider adoption. Ask friends and family who are familiar with the pet if they are willing and able to offer the animal a new home. Those who interact with the pet regularly will be better equipped to determine if the animal’s size, personality, routine, etc. would fit well with their schedule and lifestyle.
Talk to a vet. Veterinarians have many resources at their disposal and can often help rehome a pet. No-kill shelters can also be a useful option, and there are many non-profit rescue organizations around the U.S. that will also assist older adults in finding new homes for their animals.
Get the owner’s input. Be sure to let the pet owner have a say in the decision. Ask them who they would like to look after their pet. “In some cases, older people don’t have a lot of family around and their friends are going through similar transitions, so they worry what will happen to their pets,” explains Dr. Jones. “Animal owners are visibly relieved when we tell them we’ve found their pets a new home. It’s not uncommon for them to cry.”
Allow for a smooth transition. Ideally, the current owner will be able to help the pet transition to its new home. The goal is to help the animal and new owner build trust and become familiar with one another incrementally. Try having the new owner come for extended visits with the pet, take the animal for walks and care for it in the new home for short periods before full-time ownership begins. Small steps are easier on everyone involved compared to an abrupt change.
Rehomed pets aren’t gone forever. While evaluating prospective adopters, discuss the possibility of allowing the original owner to continue visiting with the animal. Even a monthly visit with a cherished furry friend can brighten up a senior’s day.

Dr. Jones says euthanizing a pet should be the last resort. “Some older people think that putting a pet down is best because the animal is so bonded to their owner,” he says. “We usually try to talk them out of it, explain that there are so many other options and then we work with the owner to rehome their pet(s).”

When Is It Time to Rehome a Senior’s Pet?

With so much research touting the physical and mental benefits that animals provide to humans, Dr. Jones advises that older people keep their pets for as long as possible. Unfortunately, though, circumstances do change. If either the pet or their elderly owner is living in a neglectful situation or experiencing a reduced quality of life, then it is time to explore alternative options. It can be difficult to balance the health, safety and happiness of both the senior and their pet, but it must be done.

Dr. Jones sympathizes with family members who don’t know what to do about their aging loved ones and their furry friends. “For caregivers, the thought of taking care of a person and their pet can be overwhelming,” he notes. “Sometimes older people haven’t trained their pets well, which can amount to behavioral problems and unsanitary conditions. But what people don’t see is that these animals mean so much to their owners. Separation often causes physical and emotional decline in both parties.”

Balance What Is Best for the Senior and Their Pet

Markovich has no regrets about adopting Ollie. She tried to make the transition as smooth as possible for both pet and owner. Cutler now receives the care and assistance he requires while Ollie gets the love and stimulation that dogs thrive on. Markovich inherited Ollie’s food and water dishes from Cutler and even places them in the same spot in her apartment at the senior housing community. The twosome goes for daily walks and Markovich hopes that she’s kept Ollie trained to Cutler’s standards.

Every month, Cutler gets to see his favorite companion when Markovich brings Ollie for a pet therapy visit at the assisted living community. “When he comes to see me, he’s overjoyed,” says Cutler. “When Nancy is ready to leave, he goes to her side to let me know he was happy to see me, but he is leaving with Nancy. I feel sad about that, but also happy that I was able to find a good home for him.”

Markovich is equally grateful for the opportunity to help a friend in need and to find the loving companionship that a pet brings. “Ollie sits by me on the sofa, sleeps on my bed and we are thick as thieves. He is a true blessing for me,” she remarks.

Source: AgingCare by Candace Rotolo

When to See a Doctor for Sleep Problems

February 23, 2019/in Aging in Community, Alzheimer's, Assisted Living, Caregiver, Dementia, Depression, Elder Care Management, Exercise, Family Caregiving, Health, Memory, Nutrician, Senior care management, Senior LIving, Stress /by LifeChangesAdmin

When to See a Doctor for Sleep Problems If you consistently have trouble sleeping at night, you may be one of millions of Americans who suffers from a sleep disorder. Almost everyone has had trouble sleeping at one point or another, but a sleep disorder occurs on an ongoing basis. Because there are more than 100 types of sleep disorders, it can be difficult to figure out what is causing your sleepless nights.

Here are the most common sleep disorders:

Insomnia is the inability to fall asleep or stay asleep through the night. It is the most common sleep disorder in the United States. About 15% of U.S. adults report having chronic insomnia.
Narcolepsy is excessive daytime sleepiness with sudden muscle weakness. Sleep attacks is another name for this condition.
Parasomnias are emotions, behaviors and activities that take place while a person is sleeping. Sleepwalking, sleep talking, sleep aggression, sleep eating, teeth grinding, and nightmares are parasomnias.
Restless legs syndrome (RLS) is the overwhelming urge to move your legs at night. This is usually in response to unpleasant sensations, such as creeping, crawling, tingling, burning, achy or itchy feelings. Moving the legs often relieves these sensations.
Sleep apnea is breathing pauses during sleep that last at least 10 seconds. Loud snoring, gasping, and choking noises are also typical symptoms. The most common form is obstructive sleep apnea.

Common Causes of Sleep Disorders

For most people, sleep debt is due to busy lives, shift work or “night owl” syndrome—staying up too late. Poor sleep may also stem from napping too much, depression, anxiety, caffeine or other stimulants, or simply getting older. However, sleep disorders can occur on their own. This is true for narcolepsy, RLS, sleep apnea, and even insomnia in some cases. Sleep scientists know that sleep is controlled by our genes, and many sleep disorders run in families.

Sleep Disorder Treatment at Home

Treatment and prevention strategies depend on the exact sleep disorder, but in general, making a sleep a priority and good sleep habits are essential. This includes having routine sleep times, keeping your room cool and dark, and limiting caffeine, nicotine and alcohol. Doctors also recommend limiting daytime naps, getting regular exercise, and not eating close to bedtime. Your doctor may have more suggestions based on your specific habits.

When to See a Doctor for Sleep Disorders

Talk with your primary care doctor or provider if any of these situations applies:

You have trouble sleeping at night for 30 days or more.
You find yourself drowsy or dozing off during the day, with impaired memory, alertness or concentration.
You have tried good sleep habits (good sleep hygiene) and sleep problems persist.

Who to See for Sleep Disorders

It is important to explore the possible causes of your sleeplessness and try to find a solution. Your primary care doctor will be able to talk about solutions, but may also recommend seeing a sleep medicine specialist for a full evaluation and diagnosis. A sleep specialist is also the best choice for advanced care and treatment if you have a clinical sleep disorder.

Source: Healthgrades. by Kate Kling

Fraud Prevention Checklist

January 26, 2019/in Abuse, Aging in Community, Alzheimer's, Assisted Living, Caregiver, Dementia, Elder Care Management, Family Caregiving, Fraud, Memory, Safety, Scams, Stress, Uncategorized /by LifeChangesAdmin

New technology & communication, while opening the door for many positive avenues of progress, also makes us more susceptible as targets for scammers. These individuals reach out to as many people as possible under some guise until they find someone who falls for their tricks. The range of tricks being used by such scammers is always growing and evolving. While you cannot know the details of each one of them, you can get a sense of the general types of scams out there.

Today’s seniors came from a generation raised to accumulate savings, to trust others, and to feel ashamed if they make any mistakes that feel “foolish”. Because of their advanced age, it may take awhile for seniors to remember the events associated with the fraud and, when they finally do, the memories are somewhat faded.

Additionally, because advanced age can cause increased reliance on caregivers, family, and friends, abuse and fraud can happen with those individuals as well, breaking trust and taking advantage of need. The answer is absolutely not to resist asking for help, but to educate yourself so that you can recognize the signs of any problems and intervene appropriately.

Based on the National Council on Aging’s “Top 10 Scams Targeting Seniors,” we’ve assembled a checklist of steps you can take to prevent falling prey to fraud. Review this list with your loved ones, checking off items as you complete them and making notes for future steps. It might be a good idea to print out this list and keep it by the phone/mail spot in the house.

On a personal note, this story hits very close to home: my husband’s grandmother was recently conned out of $9,000 when a caller from Vegas pretended to be her grandson – with whom she hadn’t spoken on the phone for awhile – and claimed to have run into some financial trouble, such that he now needed both a plane ticket back home as well as some money wired over. This caller begged the grandmother “not to tell anyone” about what he was going through since it was so embarrassing. – MV

Table of Contents

“Hi Grandma, it’s me…” – The Grandparent Scam
“I’d like to help you deal with your loss…” – Death scams
“Let’s reassess your home” – Real estate scams
“Hi, I’m a Medicare Representative…” – Medicare fraud
“Affordable prescriptions available here…” – Drug scams
“With modern science, who needs wrinkles?” Fake anti-aging products
“Update! Click here…” – Internet fraud (including email/phishing)
“I am a Nigerian prince…” – Financial schemes
“You’ve won the lottery!” Contest scams
“Hello there, we need your help!” – Bogus Telemarketers

1. “Hi Grandma, it’s me…” – The Grandparent Scam

As described above, scammers will call seniors claiming to be a grandchild in distress, requesting assistance and also discretion – both easy to obtain from the loving grandparent eager to help.

[ ] Make a list of family contacts, and if you ever receive a distress call, make sure you’re able to confirm the distress through contact initiated by you.

[ ] Never give out your personal information.

[ ] Never wire money except through a bank wire transfer, which requires confirmation of identity from the recipient.

More information:

2. “I’d like to help you deal with your loss…” – Death scams

There are many potential avenues for death scams, from claiming a fraudulent outstanding debt on behalf of the recently deceased through overcharging individuals for funeral costs.

[ ] Always ask for a written price list in advance of your visit.

[ ] Never consult with just one funeral home. Shop around to better understand the services and products offered.

[ ] Check your state laws on embalming, autopsy, and other issues concerning death.

[ ] Make sure you read through and understand all of the details of the contract, including cancelation and refund policies. Do not hesitate to ask for more time to read through, to take the documents home and process. If anyone tries to pressure you to sign right away, leave; you should never be forced to sign a document under pressure.

More information:

3. “Let’s reassess your home” – Real estate scams

Using fake letters from the local assessor’s office promising reassessment with potential reduction in annual tax burden for the homeowner, scammers will artificially alter the value of a home to then encourage the homeowner to take a reverse mortgage.

[ ] Always be wary of unsolicited phone calls or other contact.

[ ] Always ask for references on the person/group contacting you, and be sure to research them online using sources like Google, Yelp, etc. Ask for help from a family member, friend, or even your local librarian.

[ ] Never pay for any services in advance.

[ ] Never sign any documents without reading and understanding them in their entirety, as well as running them past your most trustworthy contact.

More information:

4. “Hi, I’m a Medicare Representative…” – Medicare fraud

A phone call from someone claiming to be a Medicare representative to a senior aged 65 or older is too often enough to obtain personal information, which can then be used to file false claims and extort money from the system.

[ ] Don’t give anyone your Medicare or Social Security number or card, outside of your doctor/authorized Medicare provider.

[ ] Keep track of your doctor’s appointments and check that your Medicare statements line up with the services you were provided.

[ ] Don’t bend to pressure to buy any products or services on the spot; always ask for literature and time to think it over, then research on your own, in your own time.

[ ] Be skeptical of medical products or services that are advertised as being cheaper than usually offered. These are usually scammers seeking to prey on the financially responsible.

More information:

5. “Affordable prescriptions available here…” – Drug scams

With prescription drugs adding to the long list of high medical costs, it’s no wonder that cheaper options would be tempting. In addition to conning people out of money, such scams are dangerous because the ‘medicine’ being sold is often expired or some other substance altogether, posing risks to the patient who takes them.

[ ] Be skeptical of door-to-door salesmen, because solicitations at your home without a previous appointment are illegal.

[ ] Only buy medicine from reputable pharmacies.

[ ] Know your prescriptions: names, doses, and appearance (size, color, etc.). This is useful not just for avoiding fraud, but also for confirming your pharmacy’s product as well as for any doctor or hospital visits you may encounter, where you will surely be asked to list the medicines (and dosages!) you’re takingn.

More information:

6. “With modern science, who needs wrinkles?” Fake anti-aging products

Similar to the prescription drug scams, these scams involve charging patients for procedures using unregulated, privately manufactured drugs that pose serious risks.

[ ] Be wary of anything that seems too good to be true, or that purports to act as a cure-all.

[ ] Research a product extensively before trying it, including checking with the BBB (Better Business Bureau) to find out if there have been any complaints against it.

[ ] Always check with your doctor before taking any sort of supplement.

More information:

7. “Update! Click here…” – Internet fraud (including email/phishing)

Seniors are particularly at risk for such scams due to their reduced comfort with computers and the internet. From fake anti-virus programs through phishing scams that harvest personal information through a request for updates.

[ ] Be careful about opening attachments (which often can contain viruses) as well as clicking links in emails (scammers can use letters/symbols that mimic actual letters/symbols to build a fake site that can lure you into entering your password details).

[ ] If you haven’t reset your password and receive any emails about resetting your password, independently visit the site in question and check your account. Change your password immediately; consider calling the site’s customer support line to report the incident and make sure there are no further security measures you can take.

[ ] Monitor your bank statements vigilantly for fraudulent charges. Often, scammers will start with a small charge, just to confirm that the account is active (and also so that it is less easily spotted). Call your bank immediately if you see anything strange.

More information:

8. “I am a Nigerian prince…” – Financial schemes

Seniors might be tempted to invest their money if it means increasing the longevity of their savings, and so myriad scams exist to draw them in, promising yields on their investments.

[ ] Do not ever send money to someone you don’t know.

[ ] If you receive an email claiming to be from a Nigerian prince or some other comparable obvious scam, mark it as Spam. Often, it will have some sort of “sob story” designed to get you to feel bad for the sender and want to help them in any way you can; do not fall for this.

[ ] If you receive a letter in the mail claiming to be a from a Nigerian prince (or something comparable), or requesting your banking information, take it to the FBI office nearest you or to the US Postal Inspection Service.

More information:

9. “You’ve won the lottery!” Contest scams

An announcement of a sweepstakes win is here linked with a need to invest to ‘unlock’ the prize. Victims quickly send the money and receive a check, which bounces several days later.

[ ] Sweepstakes are free; there should never be a ‘buy-in’, especially if it promises you increased odds at winning – that should be a clear red flag for potential scam activity.

[ ] Be particularly wary of contests that you did not enter but announce that you are a winner.

[ ] Always read the terms and conditions for any contest in which you participate or from which you receive correspondence, as they should lay out the rules, procedure for entry, and even the probability of winning.

More information:

10. “Hello there, we need your help!” – Bogus Telemarketers

Because of their comfort in using the phone for transactions and communication, seniors are a prime target for fake telemarketers, who maximize on the opportunity to use voice-only means. Some of the scams include raising money for fake charities and fake accidents.

[ ] Register your phone on the National Do Not Call Registry.

[ ] If you are being rushed through a call or asked to give/confirm your account information – don’t. You can even hang up in the middle of the call. These telemarketers are just trying to get you to say ok so that they can later claim that you allowed them to charge you.

[ ] Click on the resources below (under “More information”) to see the types of “lines” that are most commonly used by telemarketers.

More information:

No Small Roles in the Fight to End Alzheimer’s

December 26, 2018/in Aging in Community, Alzheimer's, Dementia, Depression, Elder Care Management, Family Caregiving, Health, Long Term Care, Memory, Senior care management, Senior LIving, Stress /by LifeChangesAdmin

Actress Nikki DeLoach is best known for her role on the series “Awkward” and her television movie roles on the Hallmark Channel. In the past year, her family has faced both her father’s diagnosis of Pick’s disease, a type of frontotemporal dementia (FTD), and the open-heart surgery of her newborn son Bennett.

Tell us about the last year and your experiences with your son and father.
In my house, we call the past year “the best and the worst” year of our lives. In the past year, I’ve experienced two open heart surgeries with my baby and the diagnosis of my father with Pick’s disease.

Both experiences were extraordinarily challenging and traumatic, however, my faith has grown exponentially. I am reminded daily of all of the miracles that have happened, the times we’ve been given mercy and grace as a family. We have hundreds of angels surrounding us — dropping off food, taking my oldest son on playdates and sleepovers, prayers … lots and lots of prayers. We are very blessed to be surrounded by an incredible community of people who have lifted us up in our time of need.

We live in times where there is still a stigma around sickness. My husband was hesitant to share information about my son’s heart defect with others. My mom felt the same about sharing my dad’s diagnosis. I knew from past experience that it is critical to not only reach out and ask for help but to share your story. When I gave birth to my first-born, Hudson, I didn’t want to admit to myself that I was going through severe postpartum depression. The shame I felt about not having those warm, fuzzy feelings other mommies felt after giving birth was palpable. I was struggling, and I waited a very long time to seek help, which was detrimental to me and my family.

I approached Bennett’s heart condition differently. I knew I would need help. After getting the word out about what we were dealing with, we had a referral for an appointment with the top children’s heart doctor in the country within a week. I have seen firsthand the power of asking for help when you need it; I no longer wait to ask. Also, by you sharing your story, you empower others to open up so that they no longer have to move through their pain in isolation.

When it came to Dad’s diagnosis, I said to my family: “People want to help us. People want to reach out. There are other people going through this, and we will never know how sharing our story may help another family.” When I know someone else is going through what I am going though, it helps me as much as it helps them. It helps us all feel less alone. I want people to be able to speak more openly about the help they need, because I have been there, and I know how important it is.

Dad’s diagnosis of Pick’s disease is very rare and affects the frontal lobe of the brain. It is fatal, and very aggressive. This illness completely changes the person. My dad is not the same person he once was. He was my touchstone, my moral compass … the most kind, loving, honest, patient and emotionally available human. I always used to say that he was so calm that he was one step above being asleep all the time.

There is not an ounce of that in him now. His patience is nonexistent. He can’t sit still; he sits down for five seconds and then begins pacing or heads out the door again. His memory doesn’t seem to last more than 60 seconds.

Dad always prided himself on “looking sharp”, as he would say. He wore nice cologne and loved to put on a crisp, ironed shirt. Now, we have trouble getting him to shower and wear clean clothes. One morning my mom discovered that he had put on four different shirts and two pairs of pants.

Although Dad was diagnosed just last summer, his symptoms have swiftly progressed. He may not even know who his kids are in six months. We saw this with my grandfather, who passed away with Alzheimer’s disease. In that case, however, grandpa progressed slowly, and my family was able to wrap our brains around each transition. With Dad, it has been dropped at our doorstep. “Boom! Dementia is here.” Oh, and did I mention that he is only 64 years old? Yes. 64 years old. It’s devastating and so painful to watch and experience.

How has your mother been coping as a caregiver since your father’s condition has progressed?
It has been so hard. She is not only losing her husband, she is losing her friend. She has to be ten steps ahead of him all of the time, which is exhausting. She often lives in fear of him hurting himself or someone else because he is losing his ability to understand safe behavior.

We have to be super mindful of the spouses of people with the disease. They often experience a decline in health as well. The wear and tear caregiving does on the body and mind is substantial. It is a 24-hour job.

My mother has risen to the occasion in such a way that nothing short of heroic. However, heroes also need a team of people that lift them up and support them. This is why I encouraged her to reach out to her local chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association. The people who have been supporting her there are angels. They are helping her learn how to cope with what is happening to her and how to help my father.

Soon after reaching out to The Alzheimer’s Association for help, my mom did something incredible. Working with the Association gave her the wings to create a support group in her community, somewhere she felt safe talking about Dad — her local church. She is bringing in speakers and people involved with the Association who can help anyone and everyone who needs it. I am beyond proud of my mother for doing this. She has turned her pain into purpose, which is so courageous. I hope the group will grow as more people see how important it is to talk about what they are going through.

Can you talk a bit about your experience as a long-distance caregiver? How is your role different from those of your other family members? How do you all work together?
I live in Los Angeles, and to be away from Dad has been gut-wrenching. My dad does have support, as my whole family lives on our farm in south Georgia. This includes my mom, dad, brother, sister and her husband, their kids, my cousins, uncle, grandmother – my entire family. But because I have a baby who has had two open heart surgeries in the last year, I have not been able to travel back home the way I used to. This has made everything even more difficult. In the past, I would fly home every other month.

There is nothing more I would love than to be able to be home, helping both my mom and dad. He did so much for me as a child. He was an amazing dad. I am desperate to give back to him for all that he has done for me. It’s just not possible right now, not until Bennett is completely well.

However, I support my family in other ways — phone calls, connecting my mom with people who can offer her local support making sure everyone in my family is on the same page and connected, or having my mom come stay with me in L.A. to give her a break. By staying connected, I can also track how my mom is coping and stay ahead of her needs at all times.

I am flying home with my older son in a few weeks to see my dad, and while it never feels like enough, I have to remind myself that I am doing the best I can given the circumstances facing my family.

At the end of the day, we have each other’s backs and stand together as a family. If you don’t have that family support, ask friends if they can be part of your support system. I’ve found that ten times out of ten, people will raise their hands to help.

What are some of the ways you’ve been spreading awareness of Alzheimer’s and dementia?
I’ve brought awareness to Alzheimer’s and dementia by starting a Walk to End Alzheimer’s team, posting blogs on my website “What We Are,” and speaking at events and on television. For Alzheimer’s and Brain Awareness Month in June, I hosted Hallmark’s morning show “Home and Family.” I wore purple and spoke on air about my dad, his illness and how people can help.

In the film industry, there are no small roles. Whether its hair and makeup, grips, PAs, an actor with one line or the lead, every role matters. I believe in this outside of the industry, too. There are no small favors. There are no small acts of service. In raising funds for the Walk to End Alzheimer’s with my friend Ashley Williams, we started by asking for small donations. After all, if 100 people give $5, that is fantastic. Every dollar raised, every friend that showed up to the walk, every person who posted on social media — it all makes a difference.

I’ve overcome so much in my own life. And now I am certain that that entire struggle was just preparing me not only for the last two years of my life, but to be able to use my platform for good. Between Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles and the Alzheimer’s Association, I feel a tremendous sense of purpose in my life being able to help others.

How do you share the life lessons you’ve learned and your bond with your dad with your own children?
It’s my dad’s mind that has a disease, not his soul or spirit. We have to just keep finding ways to connect with his soul. Music is a really big part of our story. He has always loved music and it has helped tremendously in his struggle with dementia. It’s like the music passes right through the disease into his spirit and being. My dad and I always bonded over music and I’ve passed that along to my children. We always have music on in the house and it brings great joy to our lives. And, in a way, I feel like I am passing along the legacy of my dad through music.

Every day I teach my boys about kindness, patience, giving back and being responsible – all the things my dad taught me. And I don’t just teach it, I live it. My philosophy is that you live your beliefs not through your words but through your actions. Walk the talk. I also am very involved in their lives. Just like my dad was my basketball coach and drove me to voice lessons, I am on three committees at my son’s school. I am there all the time.

What advice do you have for others grappling with Alzheimer’s or dementia in their family? What advice do you wish you had been given?
I recently completed a movie in Vancouver, and it was no accident that my driver to and from set was a woman whose dad also had Pick’s. For us to be paired together every day on that project was divine. We were meant to meet in that van. She gave me a really amazing piece of advice. She told me to love my dad, but not just with my heart. She said: “Touch him, hug him, kiss his face, give him all the physical contact and love you can possibly give. It’s not just for him; it’s also for you.” I thought that was beautiful. Every time I am with my dad, I hug him, I hold his hand, I rub his back and comfort him. In those moments, he connects with me. It’s almost as if our physical connection, like that with music, reaches his spirit.

Another piece of advice came from my dear friend Ashley Williams. Ashley and her sister, Kimberly, would text all the moments they experienced with their mom to each other – the difficult, heartwarming, and hilarious. They wanted to remember it all … together. I loved that. It’s like sharing a journal with your siblings. Sometimes you neglect to recall these stories when you are in the midst of the disease, but if you keep a text message chain going, you stay connected.

What lessons have you learned along the way?
I’ve found that you have to find the humor in the more difficult moments. I remind my mom of this daily. She was recently belaboring over her grandkids eating too much sugar. “These kids are going through Pop-Tarts like crazy!” Then she went out to my dad’s truck. There were piles of boxes and boxes of Pop-Tarts that he had been stockpiling; one of his many odd behaviors due to his disease. Yes, it is heartbreaking. But at the same time, it’s a 64-year-old man hoarding Pop-Tarts! You have to laugh.

Surprisingly, working in the entertainment industry has helped me cope with everything that comes with Dad’s diagnosis. I know not to take anything personally. You can only control your reaction to something, not other people’s behaviors. Especially when they have this disease. He or she will forget your birthday. You may not get a Christmas gift. You will be sick and they won’t think to make you soup or take your temperature. You will get yelled at or called names. It comes along with the territory. When someone you love with Alzheimer’s says something hurtful, you have to remember that it’s the disease speaking, not the person.

I’ve also been given great purpose in the last few years. I used to believe my purpose was to be an actor, producer, writer. Now I know that those things are my job. My purpose is greater than any job. You can definitely live out your purpose through your job, but it is not your purpose. My purpose is to become the best version of myself in this lifetime and to leave the world in a better place than I found it. I want to help make people’s lives better. I want to make a difference. Being a spokesperson for the Children’s Hospital of L.A. and a champion of the Alzheimer’s Association has given me tremendous purpose, and I couldn’t be more grateful. Life can be devastating and heartbreaking and you can also find great purpose and so much good in that pain. Miracles are all around us. A fantastic support system is just one call away. There is goodness all around us. We just have to be vulnerable and brave enough to open our hearts to it.

About Nikki: Nikki can be seen in the Hallmark movie “Reunited at Christmas,” which she also executive-produced. She also participated in the Los Angeles Walk to End Alzheimer’s on November 3 with friends and family.

All photos are courtesy of Nikki DeLoach.

Source: Alzheimer’s Assocition

How to Console a Senior Who Is Afraid of Dying

October 27, 2018/in Aging in Community, Alzheimer's, Assisted Living, Caregiver, Dementia, Depression, Dying, Elder Care Management, End of Life, Family Caregiving, Grief & Loss, Health, Safety, Senior care management, Senior LIving, Stress /by LifeChangesAdmin

“I’m dying.” These are words that most of us dread hearing from the people we love. However, death is an inescapable part of life. If it hasn’t happened already, chances are you’ll be called upon to help a parent, spouse, friend or other loved one through the valley at some point. Yes, it can be a terrifying prospect, but it is also an honor. This is a valuable opportunity to help your loved one make the most of their remaining time on earth, to assist them in taking the next step without regret, and to create priceless memories for you to cherish once they’re gone.

There are some hurdles throughout this process, though. The end of life often stirs up many powerful emotions, among the most poignant being anxiety. Because death is different for everyone and we know so little about what happens after a person passes, patients and family alike are often overwhelmed by fear of the unknown. Below are the seven most common fears associated with dying and how caregivers can help console their loved ones at the end of life.

Fear of the Dying Process

Apprehension about the actual dying process typically stems from a fear of pain and discomfort. People at the end of life may wonder, “How will I get through this?”

Make sure your loved one knows that they will experience little or no pain unless they choose to. Hospice care providers specialize in providing pain and symptom management for terminal patients. Staff members are trained to interpret what patients need by reading verbal and nonverbal cues, and they will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of each option with patients and their families.

Fear of Losing Control

Some individuals who are dying are able to continue leading a relatively active and normal life until the very end. But those who are very ill typically must rely on family members and caregivers to help them with activities of daily living (ADLs) in their remaining months, weeks or days. Many patients are uncomfortable with the thought of depending on others for supervision and assistance, and this is normal.

To help dispel this fear, encourage your loved one to stick to their usual routine for as long as possible. A life-threatening or terminal diagnosis does not change who the person fundamentally is. When it becomes clear that they will need to accept care from others, arrange for them to meet with and get to know their caregivers in advance, especially if medical professionals are involved. Becoming familiar with nurses and aides before their full services are required can alleviate discomfort and fear.

Furthermore, if you haven’t already discussed end-of-life wishes with your loved one, time is of the essence. Most people execute a living will, do-not-resuscitate order (DNR), physician orders for life-sustaining treatment (POLST) form, or other legal document to spell out the type of care they DO and DO NOT wish to receive. Discussing these matters and putting them into writing while your loved one is still competent to make decisions will help them feel more confident that their wishes will be respected even if they are unable to convey them.

Fear of Leaving Loved Ones Behind

Some people at the end of life wonder less about their own predicament and more about how their loved ones are coping and how they will handle the loss. They may wonder, “What is going to happen to my family? How will they manage after I’m gone?”

Only those closest to the dying person can alleviate this fear. Be willing to frankly discuss with your loved one what will happen to everyone once they die, and do everything you can to reassure them that you will all be okay. If children or dependent adults are involved, help to formulate a detailed plan for their future care.

Fear of Others’ Reactions

The focus during a loved one’s end-of-life experience is to keep them as comfortable and relaxed as possible. This is not an easy process to go through or to witness, and emotions usually run high. It’s natural to feel fear and sadness, but after the initial shock has worn off, try to behave normally. Relish this time together instead of dwelling on the inevitable loss. It is okay to express your true emotions but remember that this experience is not about you. Be respectful of your loved one’s need for peace and support.

Make sure that all caregivers and family members (yourself included!) are getting enough sleep, healthy meals and emotional support. The effects of going without these necessities is evident in both appearance and demeanor and may cause your loved one additional worry. Lastly, ensure that all caregivers and visitors are told in advance what to expect. This will help to avoid reactions of shock or fear that can be unsettling for the dying person.

Fear of Isolation

Fear of any kind typically causes us to long for the company and reassurance of those we love most. The possibility of facing the end of life alone would cause anyone considerable anxiety, and this is a common concern for many seniors. They wonder if their friends and family will come to visit them and if they will continue being attentive and supportive until the very end.

Quite simply, make sure that regular visits with close friends, family members and volunteers are scheduled. Ensure the senior feels loved and important, but avoid exhausting them with nonstop visitors. If you don’t live near your loved one or cannot commit to frequent visits for other reasons, consider taking advantage of hospice care providers, volunteer organizations or church ministries. End-of-life care from these groups may include regular visits from nurses, aides, clergy, musicians or volunteers that can dramatically increase a patient’s quality of life.

Fear of the Unknown

Will there be life after death? What can I expect? Everyone has dwelt upon these questions at one time or another. Even the greatest self-professed skeptic wonders what will happen after they take their last breaths. Addressing this concern has physical, emotional and spiritual implications. Even if your loved one is not religious, consider asking a priest, rabbi, minister, pastor, etc. to come speak with them. Outside resources such as these can offer a gift of peace, regardless of past doubts and skepticism.

Fear That Life Has Been Meaningless

People who are leaving this world need to hear that they are valued, that their accomplishments had a positive impact on the world and that they won’t be forgotten. Don’t miss the chance to tell your loved one how much they mean to you and remind them of all the good they brought to your life. Reassure them that their life had purpose and meaning, and encourage others to do the same, either in person or through cards and letters. Also, take time to go through photo albums, share memories and absorb life lessons from your loved one.

Source: AgingCare – Donna Authers

Apologizing After Caregiver Stress Causes a Blowup

October 13, 2018/in Aging in Community, Alzheimer's, Assisted Living, Caregiver, Dementia, Depression, Family Caregiving, Stress /by LifeChangesAdmin

Caregiving is a stressful job even during the best of times. The sheer amount of responsibility is enough to make the most stoic person falter, but there are also a number of diverse personalities at play. Your care recipient may be grouchy or demanding or your spouse may resent the time you devote to caregiving instead of your relationship. Then there are the people who look on from the outside and offer everything from heartfelt support to scathing criticism.

In such a high-pressure environment, a meltdown is likely to happen from time to time, especially for those who are not getting enough respite and are prone to stuffing their feelings. Onlookers who are clueless about the realities of caregiving often add to the stress by offering “advice,” which usually sounds more disapproving than helpful. You can only hide your irritation, bite back a sarcastic response, and let the comments or actions pass so many times. Patience eventually wears thin.

The same applies to your care receiver and immediate family members. All it takes is a particular comment, behavior, accident or demand made on the wrong day to elicit a snide remark or full on outburst. If the other person’s remark or suggestion was innocuous or came from a genuinely good place, we usually recognize that our overreaction was unwarranted almost instantly. That’s when the shame begins to creep in. The guilt is especially poignant when we lash out at our care recipient over something that is out of their control. It is mortifying, but it is an occurrence that’s more common than most caregivers would like to admit.

Often this sudden burst of anger is entirely misdirected. Our spouse, child, friend or care recipient may wind up becoming a target when our hurt really stems from the overwhelming stress of our caregiving situation, how unappreciated we feel and/or how little support we get from other family members and friends. But recognizing our error isn’t enough. Once uttered, our words can’t be taken back. There’s only one way to patch things up: extending a sincere apology.

Ensuring an Apology Is Heartfelt

Apologizing sounds simple enough, but it is a difficult task for many people. Asking forgiveness takes introspection and humility—attributes that may be hard to exercise while in a state of exhaustion and distress. You know your nasty mood isn’t the other person’s fault, but all you can do is muster a lame excuse for your behavior.

Be aware that an excuse is not an apology, but it may have to suffice for the time being. You can hope that the person you snapped at is understanding enough to let it go at that, but don’t make the mistake of thinking that your behavior didn’t affect them. In the meantime, allow yourself some space to cool down and collect your thoughts.

To offer a sincere apology, you must first understand what prompted your anger and why you took your frustration out on this person. One reason why we often direct our irritation and resentment at those closest to us is that we feel safest with them. We believe that these people—family members and dear friends—won’t abandon us because deep down we care about each other. We don’t treat these people poorly on purpose, just as they do not set out to provoke us intentionally. Yet, if we don’t find a healthy outlet for our growing exasperation, then it is bound to fester and rear its ugly head again and again. Left unchecked, these emotions can seriously damage a caregiver’s mental health and have a negative effect on their most important relationships.

Once you’ve pinpointed the true reason(s) behind your behavior, you may be able to offer a sincere apology. While an incident like this isn’t pleasant for anyone involved, hopefully it will help you realize that your stress levels are getting too high and it is time to find resources like respite care and personal hobbies to help you regain some balance in your life. Ultimately, this is beneficial for you, your care recipient and others closest to you.

Sometimes a Caregiver’s Anger Is Justified

What if you snap at someone who you believe is in the wrong? For example, you unload on your sibling, who is always quick to criticize how you care for your parents but never offers to lend a hand. Wouldn’t you feel justified in your behavior?

Losing your cool with this person is a little closer to a healthy response. At least you’ve selected the correct target for your anger. However, unless you are willing to throw away your relationship with your sibling, you are still in a position where an apology is warranted. It’s also important to remember that, “I said/did this because you said/did that,” does not count as an apology.

Again, it is usually helpful to take some time to cool off after the initial incident. Once you have calmed down, you can let your sibling know that you’ve been upset for some time over the way they’ve presented their criticism and that you finally lost control of your emotions. If nothing else, it’s best to say you’re sorry for the way you responded and that you recognize such a response isn’t healthy. But, you should also try to take the opportunity to mention that there are underlying issues you need to discuss so you can have better interactions and a healthier relationship moving forward. In this scenario, you aren’t apologizing for standing up for yourself. You are apologizing for attacking them rather than handling the situation in a reasonable, adult manner.

Read: How to Handle Criticism While Caregiving

Grudges Only Harm Those Who Carry Them

Life gives us only so many choices. We can continue to hold grudges that we feel are warranted. We can stay mad. But think about it: Who are we really hurting by doing this? Carrying around resentment and anger takes energy and eats away at the soul.

I’m not saying that caregivers should say they are wrong when they’re not. I’m simply suggesting that apologizing and handling these situations calmly and maturely can’t hurt. If the person you snapped at is reasonable, they may offer an apology of their own and you both can learn something about each other that will strengthen your relationship. Even if nothing productive comes of such actions, at least you will feel better for having been the bigger person and trying to clear the air.

Naturally, there are some personalities that simply never mix well. It may amount to a mutual dislike or a long and varied history of personal “wrongs” against one another. In these situations, it’s best to be cordial and avoid interactions if possible. These serious issues are different than an isolated case of yelling at a care recipient or blowing up in a situation that should have been handled with a civilized discussion. An apology is rarely sufficient to turn such animosity around. This is especially true in abusive and unhealthy situations.

Minimize Caregiver Stress

Don’t be too hard on yourself if you blow up from time to time; It’s natural to an extent. But do look for reasons why you acted in a way that you now regret and learn how to offer a sincere apology. The ability to realize and admit fault is an invaluable trait and one of the many tools you’ll need while balancing elder care with other relationships.

If stress, depression or anxiety are the cause of your behavior, or these mood swings become more pronounced and frequent, then it’s time to seek out help. Attending a caregiver support group and/or seeking professional counseling can be extremely beneficial. If there are no family members who can or will help to provide financial or hands-on care, then in-home care, adult day care or assisted living may be necessary.

It is one thing to snap at a good friend or even a “deserving” sibling on occasion, but it is quite another if you are letting stress turn you into a bitter mutation of your former self. Resentment and excessive pressure can quickly develop into caregiver burnout, which is detrimental to your physical and mental health and that of the person you are caring for.

Source: AgingCare.com by Carol Bradley Bursack

HOW TO MOVE ON FROM THE PAST

July 21, 2018/in Aging in Community, Alzheimer's, Caregiver, Dementia, Depression, Elder Care Management, Family Caregiving, Grief & Loss, Health, Long Term Care, Memory, Nutrician, Safety, Senior care management, Senior LIving, Stress /by LifeChangesAdmin

HOW TO MOVE ON FROM THE PAST Life is a mixture of positive and negative experiences. Over time, these experiences intertwine with each other to create a balance. In this give and take scenario, the negative experiences allow us to more fully appreciate the good in life. Secondly, they often serve to strengthen our character by providing us with new opportunities for personal growth and development.

In most situations, our negative experiences are simply painful bumps in the road. We can often bounce back from them with relatively few scars. However, in rare cases, these adverse experiences may keep us stuck in an endless cycle of painful memories. They can cost us our happiness, health, and relationships. When this happens, it can become difficult to get out of our whirlwind of negativity.

So, how can we successfully let go of a trauma that causes us substantial pain and suffering? What steps can we take to move on from the past to a healthier, happier, and more productive life?

Acknowledge your emotions.
After going through a trauma, it is quite common to experience a wide range of negative emotions such as hurt, anger jealousy, revenge, betrayal, sadness, hatred, shame, guilt, anxiety, depression, self-doubt, fear, loneliness, hopelessness, revenge, and others. To identify and openly express your emotions will help you get these emotions out of your system. Try writing down your emotions, venting to people you trust, or speaking directly to the other person to more fully understand the catalyst and magnitude of your pain. The trick here is to feel your emotions then release them before they begin to gnaw away at you.

Make the choice to move on.
The decision is yours. Until you make a conscious commitment to move on from your negative past, you won’t. You must be willing to leave the past in the past and to forge ahead. Unless you make this commitment, you will end up self-sabotaging your efforts and reliving a situation you can essentially no longer control.

Learn from your experience.
Positive effects can come out of a traumatic situation if you are open to learning. Take a step back and determine the following:

The Trauma: What happened? Why was it traumatic? How did it make you feel?
Gains/Losses: How much did the trauma cost you in terms of time, money, self-esteem, lifestyle, energy, relationships, future opportunities, and physical well-being? Did your gains ultimately outweigh your losses?
As an example: Over a three-year period, Barbara worked for a manager who constantly belittled and treated her poorly. Most days, Barbara left work feeling stressed and unhappy. When she finally got fired, Barbara was hurt, embarrassed, and angry. Despite quickly finding her next job, Barbara kept fixating on her past work experience. Point of fact, Barbara’s new job was in the same industry (a positive), closer driving time to her home (a positive) for less money (a negative) but with a supportive manager (a positive) and more potential for growth (a positive). Barbara’s gains were overall greater than her losses.
Key learnings: There are lessons to be learned from every negative situation. Be proactive. Make it a point to learn from the past without dwelling in it. What were your important takeaways from the trauma? And how can you apply these learnings to benefit your present and future endeavors?

Focus on the here and now.
To successfully move on from the past, focus on your present. You have no power to undo what has happened, but you have lots of power to make the best of your life today. Concentrate on the joys of each moment and quickly dismiss any memories that might creep into your consciousness (of which they will do from time to time). Remind yourself that the past is the past and release yourself from any inclination to stay there. Embrace the positive of living in the here and now.

Create new successes.
While the past makes up our history, it does not define us in the present and future. Use the rest of your life to build upon your successes. This cannot be accomplished if you are constantly looking back at closed doors. Take your wisdom from the hard knocks of life and put it into good use. Design your awesome tomorrow!

Practice gratitude.
As part of your process, always be thankful for your blessings and the many positive people and opportunities that have come your way. Be at peace with yourself.

Written by: Patricia K. Flanigan, Executive Director, Smart Strategies for Successful Living

Source: AgeGracefullyAmerical.com